A Stream of Consciousness on Thankfulness

Papa Bear and I just got back from a wine run.

As I sit here about to write this in the 11th hour, I’m thankful that my big boy is independent and I can leave him here to go on a wine run. I can then return to sit with a glass and write about something on thankfulness for five minutes without interruptions.

Baby/toddler/little boy motherhood were all exhausting for me, and I honestly don’t miss it. We never had a babysitter, we’ve lived away from family and it was 95% of the time just us. The way our schedules and jobs were set up with Papa Bear being active duty it the Marine Corps, it was rarely both of us sharing the responsibilities. It was mostly just me.

I wish I had enjoyed it more.

I look back on pictures fondly at my little boy, missing his smallness, holding his hand, and steering him by the top of his head. I miss the snuggles and him sitting on my lap, but I don’t miss any of the exhausting parts.

Tonight I didn’t have assist with homework, fix his plate, make him eat, run his bath, or stand by his shower to squirt shampoo into his hand. I didn’t have to read the bedtime story that I can still recite by heart. I didn’t have to get his clothes ready or fix his lunch for tomorrow. He’s done all of that.

I should feel sad that he doesn’t need me for those things anymore, but I’m more thankful that he’s growing up and can do these things for himself.

I don’t foresee myself wishing these next few years away as much. I love how it is right now and maybe I’ve always felt that way, even when I was exhausted.

This is a Stream of Consciousness Friday post. It's the Week 3, of the old school blogging, prompt for the Finish the Sentence Friday writing community where I'm co-hosting with Kristi Campbell of Finding Ninee. This week we set a timer and write for 5 minutes on the prompt "Halloween". 

Join us for next week's FTSF prompt where we will share a photo and tell the story behind it.