My husband and I tried not to get into the spirit of tradition, make gumbo and call it Thanksgiving.
Christopher had other plans for us.Read More
The title of today's post comes from an Abbott and Costello skit. My daddy introduced me to them, along with Laurel and Hardy, The Three Stooges and The Little Rascals.
Christopher and I often have a dialog that I end with "okay" and just chalk it up to a "Who's on first" moment.Read More
I asked Christopher if I could take a picture of him putting deodorant on. He said, "Fine, as long as you don't put it on Facebook." Dang. So what I'll tell you is that he is so dramatic putting cold deodorant on those little bald armpits.Read More
On December 14, 2004, the nurse plopped the ten pound Baby Bear on my chest. I examined him quickly. I wanted to see the results of what had been baking in the oven FOREVER. The first thing I noticed was his chin and said to Papa Bear, "He has your chin!"
Today I did much better than Day One of the Insanity workout. I had 100% caffeine and proceeded to complete all but six minutes of the workout.
I thought I was going to write about the workout and how my chest didn’t hurt today because I paced myself.
I thought I was going whine about how my calf muscles still hurt and are so tight I can’t stand on my tippy toes to get anything out of the kitchen cabinet.
I thought I was going to tell you how my coffee and I had a nice moment in the kitchen this morning getting reacquainted and how having caffeine had a better effect on my day.
For the length of my workout, I was wondering what was happening to my hair under my scarf. I know I would be in better shape if I could/would sweat my butt off more often. But if I didn’t sweat at all I could go about seven days without shampooing my hair.
Did someone gasp? No worries. That is completely common amongst the brown skinned.
Anyhoo... lately with the heat of the day, the kind of heat that makes you glisten, now its down to four or five days. This is when its oily, flat, and cannot be made to fluff up.
This time last year my hair was a pinch to a pinky finger short. I could sweat it out, then come home to shampoo, dry and flat iron some fluff in it within an hour. If I didn’t want to use heat to dry it, it could air dry in an hour - then 10 minutes to fluff. I still have short hair but it is considerably longer this summer. To dry it without heat, flat iron and style it means it’s a stay at home day. So I have to plan my whole day around my hair.
So after an INSANE workout, I did sweat my butt off. My hair is crunchy right now because I didn’t shampoo it. I won’t be able to shampoo it tomorrow either. So this means Saturday will have to be a stay at home day so that I can have fluffy hair for church on Sunday. I can’t NOT exercise because of my hair, but because of my hair I don’t want to. I would love to cut it to a pinch short again. But here’s the thing...
I married a man who liked my hair long. In our young marriage we would discuss how much I was going to get cut if I said I was getting it cut. We discussed the big chop for weeks before I got it cut. I know that my hair was slammin’, sharp, fly, tight, the BOMB, but the only compliment I ever received from him was when I came home that day and asked, “Well?” and he said, “I like it.”
So fast-forward years later, I have a seven year old with opinions and compliments of his own. He is very complimentary of me but does not hesitate to ask straight up “So what are you planning to do with your hair mom?” He knows when I’m teetering on the fence about getting it all cut off again. He starts discussing that he likes my hair better a way that he’s only seen in pictures.
So today crunchy hair and all Christopher says on the fly, "Love you mom. You're like a flower to me!" I asked, "What does that mean?" He said, "You're so beautiful!"
So what’s stands between me and a good workout is long hair and what’s stands between me and short hair is my son.
You see my dilemma here?
Here's the thing... it's really a win/win that he thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am.
I see many crunchy hair and stay at home days in my future and I'm okay with that.
We are having movie night. I put a video into the VCR - no questions from Christopher. The previews start to play and say, "Coming soon to video cassette...." Christopher looks up from what he's doing with a frown on his face and asks, "How come it said video cassette?"
Christopher's school bus was running late this morning. Two buses were coming around the corner. I wondered aloud which was his bus because I couldn't see the numbers yet. He said, "Mine is the light skinned one." (His bus is faded).
I was reading Christopher a bible story as a bedtime story. I read, "Now Bathsheba was already married. For David to look at and long for another's man's wife was sinful in God's eyes." First he asked me what "sensible" meant. I corrected him and said, "sinful" and then explained that it was a sin for David to look at Bathsheba because she was married. He said, "I don't get it. Men look at married ladies all the time."
I read the bible story about Naaman who had leprosy and was healed in the River Jordan. When Christopher asked me, "What's leprosy?" I said it was, "Bad skin." He said, "I bet he didn't put lotion on."
Most days Christopher's honesty is sweet, naive, and mostly funny. Comment about tonight’s dinner, "Mom, I'm only going to be able to eat this one time."
Christopher watches AFV like it’s a football game. Comments like, "Awww c'mon!" He is never satisfied with the winner and can't believe they won. This evening he comments, "You've got to be kidding me. That wasn't even funny. Mom we need to sign up for AFV." (age 7)
So the M&M “I’m sexy and I know it” commercial is one of those things that he can’t get out of his head. He thought it was funny to snatch his shirt off while singing, “Oh it’s that kinda party, hit it! I’m sexy and I know it!”
On Saturday May 5th, I was on yahoo and read aloud the title of this article (First-Grader Suspended for Singing ‘I'm Sexy and I Know It’). Christopher asked, "Who is it?" I showed him the picture of the little boy. He said, "Whew. I'm glad it isn't me."
Today he records this on the iPad using Talking Tom:
So here’s how I got out of the birds and bees talk with a turtle:
Facebook status (reformatted for blog):
Christopher said, "I wanna know how babies are formed."
I said, "Huh?"
He repeated himself.
I said, "I'm getting ready to cook dinner."
He said, "Can't you talk at the same time?"
I said, "No, I need to look at a recipe."
Hopefully my husband will be home shortly. Let's see how I can cook this 20-minute meal in slow motion.
A few minutes into my marathon meal he says, "Mom when you get done I need to talk to you because I have a lot on my mind and its gross."
It was about this time last year when he insisted on knowing which part of me he came out of. Finally I blurted out, “My private parts,” and he said, “So, what? You can’t tell me?”
Yes, that was the end of that conversation.
So when he said he had something on his mind, I was really freaking out.
Turns out the gross something on his mind was about so & so putting barbecue sauce on their carrots and ketchup on their peas.
I was relieved. We might be onto something with distractions. So I carried on the conversation about how disgusting that was and did you know some people put ketchup on eggs…
A couple days later someone replied to my Facebook status:
How'd the talk go? Are you still cooking dinner?
I gave her the short story. But what had happened was….
I was pulling the trashcan to the street when I noticed a small turtle. I went back in to go get Christopher. I was thinking to myself, this is just the distraction I need. I showed him the turtle shell. I said, “Pick it up and bring it in the yard so he doesn’t get run over.” Christopher said, “What’s if he pokes his head out and snaps me.” I told him I didn’t think it was a snapping turtle. He continued to stand by with the, I’m not going to touch it look. I said oh geez, where is your father as I looked up the street, thinking, I’m gonna have to pick up the turtle to show him there is nothing to be afraid of.
I picked up the turtle and in my mind I was saying, ewww ewww ewww as I made it a few steps to our mailbox and put it down. This was a major. I don’t like buggy insecty reptiley things.
Christopher then brought the turtle the rest of the way into the yard. My husband came home a few minutes later and they walked it to a nearby lake.
So here’s the turtle. What? I said it was small.
Here’s the thing… a few days later I’m still saying, “Ewww I touched a turtle” , but it did buy me some time.
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